Archie the Bible Thumper

I remember Archie comics fondly as a kid. Although the storylines were always predictable and innocuous, I had a deep appreciation for such familiarity. Looking back, however, I couldn’t help but notice that the quaint vision of life in America was a product of the pining for the “simpler” times, when teenagers worried about who they would take to the big dance, and drug, violence and sex was never an issue. This picture, of course, is simply a fantasy. Still, it was a wholesome alternative to the sometimes overly violent and complicated works of other comic books, like Spiderman or X-Men.

What I never realized however, was that in the 1970’s and 80’s, the characters were featured in a number of Fundamentalist Christian books under the publication of Spire Christian Comics. The strict doctrine of Christianity was encouraged, with the troop involved in issues surrounding evolution, drug addiction, and even a little anti-establishmentarianism (they didn’t like hippies too much it would seem).

Although tame compared to the far more sophisticated methodology of indoctrination the religious right is employing, I’ve never been comfortable with cultural icons presenting their own personal beliefs as undeniable facts to their young and impressionable audience. In the comics, the faithless always appear morally bent, while the sheen of the Archie characters come off as annoyingly “holier-than-thou”. In one of the comics, Archie even opens up a Christian bookstore in a western themed scenario, so that the students at the local schools will be delivered from the evils of evolution. To quote Betty: “When they took the Bible out of school, more and more problems came in [emphasis theirs]” Of course, such a thing is only a tragedy to those that maintain a strict adherence to the cosmogony of the Bible, rather than the rigorous theories of science.

If you don’t feel annoyed, try to imagine for just a moment that instead of telling children about the love Jesus has for them, Archie and friends were informing their loyal readers that Mohammed was the last prophet of God, and praising the joy of the Koran.

It’s rather convenient that these comics have faded into obscurity, thereby failing to taint the image of the poster-boy for Americana, Mr. Archie Andrews. On a side note, this isn’t the first time that the characters have faced a bit of controversy. In 2003, a small theatre production was issued a cease and desist order for their satirical play envolving the Riverdale gang. The play was to have Archie coming out as gay. The Franchise felt that such a play would tarnish the wholesome image of their title character. It’s strange how they never opposed the idea of Archie Andrews the “Creationist Bible Thumper”…Strange indeed.