Couple Finds Angel in Tree Rings

You look long and hard, squint your eyes to the point of straining them, and finally, as your eyeballs cry “mercy”, the giant blotch starts looking like an angel. No, this isn’t a Rorschach inkblot test, although in retrospect, it might as well be. Instead, this is a couple in Georgetown, Illinois that claim to have cut down a tree with an angel face in it.

Sherri and Jerry Conklin, whose home was threatened by an old oak tree, cut down the soft maple to avoid further property damage. When they were finished, they discovered that one of the wood grains displayed the image of an angel. Their local newspaper, suffering from a lack of any pertinent news, thought it would be a good idea to feature a credulous couple who believe that the image of the cherub appeared only after the tree had been cut down.

Now, I don’t want to be a buzzkill, but when I looked at the image, I thought I recognized one of the helmets from the Lord of the Rings movie (the fancy elven ones). Of course, Mrs. Conklin and I share have one thing in common; we are both individuals with active imaginations that see patterns in a seemingly innocuous blotch of stained wood; in fact, most normal human beings do. It’s called pareidolia, which is a physiological phenomenon whereby a vague visual stimulus triggers the brain to interpret a particular pattern or recognizable image.

This would all be fairly jovial and innocent if we could all laugh a little, and remember that the significance of such a find is no more impressive than looking up at the sky and seeing a cloud that looks like a teddy bear. The faithful droves, however, regard these kinds of finds as proof positive that their particular deity exists, and rationality, free inquiry, and objectivity fly out the window. It is in these instances that we should remind ourselves that there is always a powerful need to rationalize our beliefs, no matter how illogical they might be. By claiming to see angelic messages in tree trunks, grilled cheese sandwiches, and plate glass windows, we assign a pattern to nature that does not exists, and further our own ignorance. We should instead come to realize that it isn’t the outside world that’s trying to send us a message, but the internal one. Speaking of which, maybe I’ll pop in the Lord of the Rings Trilogy…

Archie the Bible Thumper

I remember Archie comics fondly as a kid. Although the storylines were always predictable and innocuous, I had a deep appreciation for such familiarity. Looking back, however, I couldn’t help but notice that the quaint vision of life in America was a product of the pining for the “simpler” times, when teenagers worried about who they would take to the big dance, and drug, violence and sex was never an issue. This picture, of course, is simply a fantasy. Still, it was a wholesome alternative to the sometimes overly violent and complicated works of other comic books, like Spiderman or X-Men.

What I never realized however, was that in the 1970’s and 80’s, the characters were featured in a number of Fundamentalist Christian books under the publication of Spire Christian Comics. The strict doctrine of Christianity was encouraged, with the troop involved in issues surrounding evolution, drug addiction, and even a little anti-establishmentarianism (they didn’t like hippies too much it would seem).
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“The Secret” to Happiness isn’t Thinking, Apparently

New Age Meets Conspicuous Consumption
You might not be aware of this, but there are apparently only three things you need to do to make your life better and more prosperous; first ask the Universe, then align yourself to it, and finally, reap the rewards of your materialistic fantasizing. If this sounds familiar, that’s because it’s not unlike what you did as a child, waiting for Santa Claus to bring you your presents.

If you’re wondering what I am talking about, than allow me to explain; in late 2006, a DVD entitled “The Secret” was released and got worldwide attention, with celebrities such as Oprah advertising its benefits. Eventually a book was written (which seems oddly backwards in the world of self-help). Both sold themselves on the premise that everything that a person wants and desires is the result of what one “projects” with their thoughts. Although this may seem like a harmless fantasy, the philosophies it endorses nevertheless encourages people’s greed, materialism, and selfishness, all under the banner of “self-help”.

The video starts of seemingly harmless enough; the producer explaining that she was caught in a vicious cycle of in desperation at the loss of a family member and at being severely overworked. Then, by some miracle, she was told of a wonderful and powerful secret, one that had been known about for thousands of years, but was apparently suppressed. What is this wonderful secret? That the power of wishful thinking can give a person everything they dream.
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Litigious Gay Activists Try to Sue eHarmony

As a Libertarian, It is my belief that government should be only minimally involved concerning many public affairs. This belief also applies in regard to an article featured a few days ago on BET.com that reported on a suit brought against eHarmony for allegedly discriminating against homosexuals. Linda Carlson, a lesbian from San Francisco, says she was unable to create a gay profile on the popular site, and when she emailed the company to complain, they refused to change their policy.

Lawyers have now asked other gay and lesbians to hop on the suing bandwagon, encouraging them to exercise their legal muscles to force eHarmony into accepting homosexuals in their online dating service.

Without going into too much of a diatribe, I am both outraged that such action has been taken against a private company. For starters, they are not a public body, and as such, should be allowed to service whatever members of the community they seek. If eHarmony does not wish to offer its services to Gays or Lesbians, then the loss of revenue is their punishment. Never mind the fact that many other sites offer this service (many online dating sites cater EXCLUSIVELY to gays or lesbians, without much of a fuss from the heterosexual community); should they really be sued for their poor business decisions?

Even eHarmony’s fatuous claim that their psychological profiles are tailored for heterosexuals only is inconsequential; they should not be forced to cater to a demographic they do not seek. We live in a free market, and as such, certain companies are allowed to limit the clientele they choose to service. There is always someone willing to fill in the gap left by such blind-sightedness, and do it far better. Companies like Target and Wal-Mart realized this long ago; the profit they enjoyed resulted in servicing a demographic that was otherwise considered at the time too poor to bother with. Although I have nothing against groups going public to expose such ignorance on the part of corporations, the fact remains that involving the government in forcing the site to behave in a politically correct manner takes away our opportunity to encourage other fledgling, and more open-minded companies to usurp their market.

Why are we so afraid of small minded organizations? Why do we feel the need to punish those that have such a narrow view of both business and people in general? If we truly consider ourselves enlightened, and anti-discriminatory, we cannot allow every bigoted institution to force our legal muscle into crushing them. We should allow the principles of the Enlightenment to carry their own special weight, rather than force others to convert to these ideals. Let us not forget that it is the tactics of totalitarians to force others to behave as they do. Do we all want that comparison made on us?

An Appeal to Reason

A comment appeared in one of my stories which deserves some attention, and I would like to take the opportunity not only to make my position clearer on the matter, but also to address many of the points brought up in his arguments. I thought it would be a good opportunity to discuss what my opinions are concerning the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, lest my audience assume I am one sided on the issue.

We’ll begin by the letter itself, which reads: “

“One side of the story isn’t it [referring to the comment I wrote on the video featuring “Mickey Mouse” enticing children to violence]? The Israelis have their own programs that put out propaganda against the Arabs, Muslim or non [sic]. In areas of Palestine, where the Jews have illegally “claimed” possession of land, Jewish children are to go to school before Palestinian kids, and when the Palestinian kids head off to school, they and their families get ridiculed and have rocks thrown at them by the Jews living there.

They live through this every day, IN THEIR OWN COUNTRY! The UN has put out many resolutions and many documents that ask for the removal of the Israelis from Palestinian territory, but it hasn’t happened in decades… DECADES! From 1955 to 1991 alone, there have been more than 60 UN resolutions against Israel due to it’s [sic] treatment of Palestinians and their territory. So much violence! Even the small things that Israel does, is unimaginable! The Palestinians get stuck in traffic for hours if Israelis want to move and use the roads. The Palestinians have to pay fees and fines to use their own roads and streets and this right to use part of their own infrastructure is determined by ISRAELI soldiers! They have to have papers and permits to travel, live, worship and shop in their OWN COUNTRY…

People need to realize who owns the news and what restrictions are on the news that is being fed to the mainstream public. The diplomats that go into Palestine come out shocked and once they try to shed light on what is really going on, they are declared anti-Semitic, and have to work hard to remove that association from themselves and just quietly back down from the issue. When Israel invaded Lebanon, just some months ago, and bombed innocent civilians and residential areas and UN buildings with their PRECISION MISSILES, what in the world were you people watching?! They precisely hit the right targets. There was a documentary on PBS not too long ago that claimed that the propaganda, Jews against Arabs and Arabs against Jews, was being taught to kids and there were shows out there trying to reduce this. When are people going to realize that when people in that country live in so much poverty and chaos and daily violence and disruption, why would these citizens have attacks and more violence on their minds, rather than keeping their kids and families safe and trying to live out each day at a time?

If everything was peachy keen in their own lives, why would anyone go against a peaceful neighbor? Why would they risk retaliations on themselves, from a much, much more powerful, organized and well equipped Israeli military force, if everything was fine? Palestine doesn’t have an army. Who would go mess with someone much more advanced and powerful and definitely economically richer, when they have families to think of? Some people, who’s families have been lost and died in this chaotic, nonsensical violence, get really angry. They want to retaliate, because they have nothing to lose anymore. That’s a hard thing to understand. These children’s programs against one group or the other are everywhere in that region; in Israel, as well as Palestine.

Don’t just believe that there is only one side to the news you hear about the middle east. Most of it people don’t get to hear. Surely, everyone who thinks critically can understand and respect that. You hear of one Israeli death and it’s publicized with as much sympathy as possible. Name the person or soldiers and their family members. Showing their family members on national news… Showing their grief. When several Palestinians die, each day due to conflict with Israeli soldiers - these are just civilians I am talking about - they are mention briefly and told in a way that no one remembers or cares. In fact, more often than not, it leaves the viewer with the message that somehow, it was the fault of the civilians… everytime… everyday?”

Obviously, Ash here is very passionate about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. He brings up a few points that I would like to address, particularly in regards to the propaganda he was referring to. First, I would like to indicate that Ash did not condemn the video itself, and jumped straight to the fact that Israel has its own children’s program that indoctrinates them against Muslims. Even if that were true, it does not diminish the sheer horror and vileness of the program itself. The children’s show was designed not only to create Anti-Semitism, but to entice the very young to violence. I feel sympathy to anyone that has such restrictions placed upon them. No doubt Palestinians must feel like second class citizens within their own home. But their struggle does not justify the brainwashing of little children, nor should anyone believe for an instant that the violent assaults made on Israeli citizens is somehow justified as a consequence. Violence is never the answer, and the impoverished and desperate conditions of the Palestinian people will never be advanced by such actions.

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And the Title of “Second Worst Museum” goes to…

Last week I wrote an article featuring the completion of the Creation Museum in Petersberg Kentucky, which is opening today. However, there is another museum, in Roswell, New Mexico that ranks perhaps as the second most credulous institution in America, and a recent article on CBC.ca prompted me to write a little bit about it.

As far as mythology is concerned, it’s hard to beat the Rowsell story. In 1947, a farmer claimed to have discovered a crash site containing “odd looking metal fragments”. The government announced that the craft was indeed an unidentified flying object, but soon retracted their statement, explaining instead that the craft had been a weather balloon. Adding to the conspiracy, 8 years later the US military established an airbase nearby, fueling claims that some sort of cover-up was occurring.

Roswell has since become a huge tourist attraction, centered almost entirely on the mythology of an alien crash-landing. In 1992, the rather silly “International UFO Museum and Research Center” opened to the general public. The museum, soft on facts and heavy on theory, features a messy array of “artist rendered” paintings and drawing and testimonials of UFO sightings. Anyone who has not bought the conspiracy theory is therefore instantly bored, as they are introduced to sketches of pale gray humanoids with almond shaped eyes; a vision so paltry and tired one wonders how much imagination went into such a creation.

The fact that a museum of a non-event exists in the first place is a sad testament to our credulity, and shows that it is not only religion that can hold sway to our irrational impulses. Even if an alien craft had landed, what sort of proof can the museum offer that is of any scientific merit? Their only research is into testimonials of abductees, all of which recount a cookie-cutter story of alien incompetence and obsession with sexual probing.

With the future opening of a theme park, Roswell’s tourist industry will no doubt boom, attracting more droves to the silly and laughably unscientific museum. Although admittedly it may cause no real harm to visit such a place, I shudder at the fact that human beings allow themselves to be fooled so easily. Even if an alien vessel had landed there, how much information on the event could this place really report? What lessons can it hope to inculcate? Anyone interested in the least educational tour possible, once they are finished visiting the museum of lies, should make a stop here. Otherwise, stay clear.