Understanding the Reasons for Religious Arguments

I’m beginning to understand that only intellectually debating religion is a giant waste of time. The blog Atheist Revolution has an interesting article on the types of “religious trolls” that frequently comment in atheists sites and the tactics they use. However, there’s something important here that is just not being mentioned: just what exactly is their motivation?

It’s easy to dismiss trolls as simple troublemakers who want to start flame wars with atheists, but that’s not the whole answer. Sure, there are bound to be a few shit disturbers, but for the most part, I’ve always found that although these religious “trolls” were unusually insistent and persistent, the motivation behind their actions are, to them at least, genuine and pure.

Imagine I want to convince you that my favorite restaurant is simply the best place to get fried noodles with chicken (it is, but that’s not the point). I would try any tactic available to convince you. Did you know that they make their own noodles there? That the business is owned by a small family that lives in the same building as their restaurant, and work 15 hour days? Sure, their cooking equipment is primitive and the service is slow, but I promise you that the chicken is the tastiest around!

Ultimately, there’s an element of personal taste that enters the equation that I cannot account for. Maybe you don’t like chicken. Maybe you prefer fancy places with lounge music. Whatever the reason, the reason behind me telling you about my restaurant are genuinely kind; I want you to experience the same pleasure and satisfaction I do. Religious people share this same need to proselytize; many feel that their lives are richer for believing, and cannot understand why anyone would choose to live a life without God. The details of how the arguments unfold masks a far more primitive need that every human being shares: the need to tell others about something good. I personally love my favorite restaurant specifically because I share it with others. This need is part of the reason we are a social species. Like the lion’s pride that learns to share for the good of the group, so have we learned to share those experiences that make us more healthy, and more happy. Whether or not religion does this is irrelevant; it’s important only that some people FEEL that it is in order for it to be true to them. Everything they do can be explained from that one simple need.

So rather than worry about the kinds of arguments i can use to try and convince them on the logical truth of my ideas, I have come to see that the reason I myself am an active atheist is that I want to share just how profound and incredible the realization of a godless universe really is. In that sense, I am no different from my Christian counterpart, with the exception that I have perhaps the stronger arguments. Ultimately though, if I am blinded by my emotional attachment to an idea, I may be unable to see why it may not be universally appealing to others. The only value I can hope to instill on others, therefore, is that one always has to be willing to question their assumptions. This is something very few religious people do, and the vindication I have in my unbelief is that I will always try and maintain an open mind.

Glad I don’t Live Here…

I hope most of you guys don’t live anywhere close to the border. And by close, I mean less than 100 miles from it, because apparently, you’re in a “Constitution-Free Zone“. Do me a favor guys. Can you reclaim your country and stop eroding your wonderful founding document please? You’re making your neighbors to the north nervous here.

China wants to make the Internet Pure…

How old is porn? Pretty damn old, actually. There are cave wall painting that depict people having sex, and my gut tells me they weren’t painting that just for posterity. It’s not really that hot, but back then, there must have been quite a few Cro-Magnons pleasuring themselves to it.

Hey, it’s in our nature to like sex. The Gutenberg printing press was used for more than simply printing Bibles. There’s also a number of analysts that claim that pornography is one of the main reasons the internet got to be what it is today. Yes, innovation paid for by the diligently perverted. I love it.

Of course, it’s not everyone that has a sense of humor about these things. China is launching a new offensive to try and clean up site it considers vulgar and offensive, and sites who fail to comply will simply be blocked. The government claims that it’s their responsibility to protect public morality, which is just another way of saying it’s their duty to shape public opinion. The sites believed to hold unsuitable materials includes site that criticize the government, so their Orwellian minds have worked hard to include other material in an effort to hide the fact that they are trying to quash dissent among the citizenry.

Of course, the joke is on them. Trying to police the internet is like building a damn out of paper towels; you just can’t hold back that much water. Sure, the obvious sites might get shut down, but there will always be elite rebel hackers that will exploit any weakness in the system.

China isn’t the only one who is trying to do this. Australia is wrestling with some pretty controversial legislation as well. The government wants to ban certain sites, and although the websites involved do sound odious, it’s a slippery slope that can often have much more frightening long term consequences.

I’ll say this once and I’ll say it again: leave the internet alone, morons. I like how vulgar and perverted it is! Hell, i guess a lot of Christians probably feel like I should be part of that list!

Jacob vs Jesus: Battle for God Status

I found this website the other day, and thought some of you might be amused by what they are trying to “prove”. This is a site that is obviously mascaraing as scholarly, and asking pointless questions like: “Did Jesus Lie When He Claimed he was a God”. That this question is even asked seems to me so ridiculous that I don’t feel the need to answer it. I shall, therefore, prove to all my loyal readers that I, Jacob Fortin am a God by using the same arguments.

I shall begin by making the statement first. I am God. Ok, that was easy enough. Do I have proof? Well, I never told a lie, so if that’s true, then I have to be a God. Unlike other religious figures, who spoke wisely of their religion but never claimed to be a supreme being, Jesus and I have something in common; we just went for it. Of course, there’s a bunch of miracles that he supposedly performed, but rest assured, I have a few tricks up my sleeve. I once rose a guy from the dead. I’m telling you the truth here. Hard to believe, right? Well, you’ll just have to take my word for it, and if you don’t, you’ll burn in Hell forever. Does that sound a little harsh? Ok, tell you what; I’m a kind God, so I’ll only let you burn in hell for 2-3 weeks. I think that’s pretty fair.

Lastly, I need some kind of easy wisdom to pass along. Some might think that if I was a God, I would know the answers to some of the Universe’s toughest questions. I wouldn’t just go spouting moral platitudes until the cows come home. I’m going to give you, my children, some much wiser insights than that. Did you know the Universe was over 13 billion years old? Well, Jesus sure didn’t, and that seems like a pretty big oversight for a God to make. You might be tempted to tell me that almost everyone else who has a high school education can tell you that, but so what? It certainly doesn’t prove that I learned that fact from anywhere other than my Godly brain.

Well, I seemd to have passed all of the test laid out by these fucking clowns, so I’ll leave you to ponder how you will come to worship me. Remember, all other Gods are false gods, since they have failed to prove how divine they are by these highly rigorous tests. Now don’t you feel better knowing that biblical scholars are out there doing the hard research? I know I am!

Religious People Better at Self Control

Here’s an interesting article in the New York Times about how religion seems to help people have more self control. Normally, I would try and tear apart these kinds of articles, but in this case I don’t necessarily disagree with the findings. Intuitively, it seems right to me; I don’t know of many people that could fight off the impulse of sex in favor of a relationship with God (I’m talking about Nuns and Catholic priests of course).

I’m curious as to how most people view these studies anyways. Do religious people feel uplifted by the results? Do atheists generally care? I would describe myself as having moderate self control (at least when it comes to matters of pleasure), and I don’t see any reason why I would need more. It certainly doesn’t seem to stop kids from having premature sex, or even experiment with drugs, unless of course their level of devotion is slavish. Even then, it’s fairly suspect.

Imagine I gave you a pill that helped you with your impulse control. The side effects included occasional hallucinations, close mindedness, bigotry, intolerance and had a tenancy in some patience to cause massive psychotic breakdowns. Would it be worth it?

Sure, wen you don’t have a strict guidebook to live your life, you are more susceptible to some of life’s temptations. But so what? I don’t want to spend my life in a coma, content on thinking that all the mysteries of the Universe are solved, or that it’s impossible to attain any higher morality than what we have now. Self control is exactly what I WANT to avoid. It’s the same impulse that make us complacent and sheepish in the face of so many of life’s important challenges. Keep your damn pill. I want to see life through sober eyes.

Happy New Year!

Well, the Holidays are finally over, and after my hangover cures, it’s back to work for your favorite Good Atheist! 2008 was a landmark year for me; I quit my job to work full time on blogging (not this site, but rather this one). This year, I plan on submitting my book to various publishing agencies, as the podcast is about to hit 100,000 downloads in a few weeks. It’s a pretty big achievement, and I have all of you to thank for it. You guys are helping make my dream come true, and for that, I’m grateful.

Speaking of radio shows, if you haven’t submitted any questions or comments for the Year in Review show, please do so now! This is no time to get shy here. If there’s anything you want me to address, now is the time!

Article on Abstinence Teaches Nothing New

I hate articles that regurgitate news anyone with half a brain already knows. Is it that surprising that study after study of teen sex always comes up with statistics showing that there is no difference in premarital figured between kids who are taught sex ed and those who are taught abstinence? No, of course not. Is it shocking that kids without sex ed are less likely to use any form of birth control or protection? Nope. And yet, they still “teach” this garbage in schools hoping that somehow kids will abstain from having sexual relations, completely ignoring the fact that these raging bags of hormones find it difficult to avoid the temptation to play with themselves several times a day, let alone invite anyone to the fun.

Kids like sex. They want it. They crave it. Everything about their biology is inclined to try and get it. Yet somehow, a religiously motivated cretin thinks that a promise and a shitty ring is enough to keep their hands off each other. It’s time we stopped living in a fantasy land and take a pragmatic approach to the issue. There is nothing anyone can do to prevent teens from having sex. Most of the Western World has already acknowledged that. But the US is a special place; they fight wars against windmills, believing that prohibitionism in all forms is the only way of curbing the natural vices of people. The problem is, of course, that morality is a private thing, and cannot be policed.

Guys, get real about teaching sex ed in high school. Abstinence is nothing more than religiously mandated classes, and any country that takes the separation of church and state seriously would make mincemeat out of it. The US has a shamefully high rate of teen pregnancies and drop out rates shared only by developing nations. Let’s get real here, shall we?

A Holiday Connection

Like many Canadians, my family is separated by divorce. Since the age of 5, my parents have stayed as far away from each other as possible. Like most divorces, theirs was a messy affair, and it was not unusual for us to be caught in the middle of the fierce crossfire. But time heals all wounds, and in our adult years, my parents have managed to become civil to each other. I would even go so far as to call them friends.

This year, we had all agreed to rent a cottage so all of us could have Christmas under the same roof. It was an ambitious undertaking; my two sisters are married, and both my parents are in serious relationships. Add to that the fact that my brother in law’s parents were also down from Bermuda, and you had yourself a full house indeed. Still, thanks in large part to the hard work of my sister Melissa, we found a suitable place that could accommodate our needs.

We were all excited to go, but each of us knew that the 7 days of family fun could be a gamble; after all, there was no way to know if we would all get along for such a long period of time. But upon our arrival at the lovely dwelling, our fears melted away into wonder. The cottage was bigger and more beautiful than we had imagined. We could not have asked for a more perfect setting.

Before we had left, I had intended on trying to have a private conversation with each member of my family. In the past year, I’ve done quite a bit of thinking about the meaning and importance of familiar bonds. I realized that in my youth, I was an unemotional and distant child. I would bury myself in my artwork; the only real way I could express my emotion. As I’ve grown up however, I’ve come to appreciate the love and support my family have given me. Since I could not afford much in the way of material gifts, I thought I could instead try and make a deeper connection with my family, and reflect with them on the significance of our bond.

The conversations themselves were private, so I will not discuss them here. Sufficed to say, I cannot imagine a Christmas that could have gone as swimmingly as this one did. I not only got to connect with my immediate family, but also my new one. And because we all knew that the purpose of this trip indeed had been to connect, we were free to express ourselves in an honest and open way. There were many tears of joy, many hugs, and many kisses that were exchanged that week. There was not one person who walked out that was not affected or changed by the experience. It was a Christmas to remember.

The effects are still with me. I have come to realize that all human relationship reflect the need to connect in one way or another. We can only truly feel complete and loved when we lower our defenses, and allow others inside. Human beings that cannot trust others, or feel constantly under attack must be lonely indeed. There is a human compulsion to try and bond with others, marred only by our more jaded side. It is a shame that some people can never get passed it.

This Holiday will stay with me for a long time, and I shall never forget the lessons I learned. When someone asks me “what did you get for Christmas?”, I will tell them that I was able to share some of the most significant moments and insights of my life. Not a bad present, eh?